Wednesday, 6 December 2006

Bill Walton Chats

I have to admit, I'm a big fan of the chats at ESPN. Typically they cover a lot more topics and so there's a better likelihood that they'll talk about things I'll find interesting. However, I saw that there was going to be a chat with Bill Walton, which was something I had never seen before, and so I figured it would be a little different and strange.

Generally the chatter answer lots of questions and give short answers... not Bill Walton. He took 7 questions and gave very long responses. I find Bill very funny in person because of his great exaggerations and hyperbole, but I wasn't sure how it would translate to writing... but I found it funny.

So here are some of the parts I found funny... if you think it sounds like the writing of a guy tripping on acid... well, you're not alone.

"Joe Crawford has stepped into the center circle, hopefully he won't be ejecting any willing participants in today's ceremony. The ball is in the air, the two hands going ever higher. The fate of the known world is in the balance. I'm ready to play...Thanks for putting me in coach. Let's go!"


[talking about the Phoenix Suns]"...and my favorite coach in the NBA (he shouldn't be wasting his time with basketball, he should be president) it's all there for Phoenix. The've capitalized brilliantly on their favorable schedule (a lot of home games against the Sisters of the Poor). But now they head East, for their first of what promises to be many momements of Truth."


"We're really excited Ben about your Bulls impressive 5 game win streak! And if you can continue to play the Knicks, Boston, and any other memebers of the Atlantic Division (Philly tonight ESPN at 9 ET) we're sure that there is nothing that will stop your mighty Bulls from shattering the Lakers 33 game win streak."


"And we can only hope that Shaq is able to return as quickly as possible. We're well aware of how hard he worked all summer to come back in tip-top shape to defend his fourth championship."


"Artis Gilmore gave me more trouble than anyone else, but that was because he had no comprehension that double dribbling, three seconds, offensive fouls, and travelling were not only against the rules of basketball, but against the rules of human decency."


"When I joined the NBA in 1974, I became the highest paid player in the history of all team sports (for about as much money as today's minimum salary). My agent was so excited he was raving about all the money, and how it was going to change my entire life. And I looked at him and said, "I don't care about any of this. After four years with John Wooden the only thing that I was concerned about was that I didn't want anyone to tell me when to get a haircut and when to shave or whether or not I could wear a headband." And I was a rookie Ben! I knew enough at that point to get it in writing!"

Bill Walton everybody! One crazy SOB.

And remember, you hear a good Bill Walton quote, let me know as I am compiling my Bill Walton Quote Library!